Finding My Way

100_0035Pain is a common theme of rebuilding in my life process. I have gone on so long with the theme that if I try hard and do my best I will make it. This theme I feel from my experience is common. I have under utilized the team that works with me at school and it is nobody’s fault but my own. I have not wanted to ask for help whether it be pride or ego. I have done the work but have failed to see that my process is limited because of my lack of willingness to seek out solutions in the context of the group. The group as a whole is much further developed than I am.
Now, with that being said, I have to get busy. I know it doesn’t work anymore. I have to find that willingness to ask for help and make myself somewhat vulnerable. It comes down to this, I do not know if I have what it takes anymore. I don’t think at least I can continue on the direction that I have been heading. I am experiencing an active change in my ideas and attitudes. I am hitting the wall. It can only be a good thing that comes of this. I want so bad to be my own entity. Freedom: financial, living arrangements, free time, hobbies, romance, hope, all of it! The only way it will be possible if I let`my process go and focus on willingness.

Since this post- I have pursued my peers and instructor and have found some insight into the processes that were haunting me. There is a good feeling knowing that I am working with a group of caring individuals. It is the fact that makes education possible. I am forever grateful for all of my colleagues.

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3 responses to “Finding My Way

  1. Finding My Way. We are all finding our way Charlie. At times I to feel lost. For the past few weeks I have felt unmotivated. What is not known to us seems to scare us. It pushes us away. It, is it an it? Or is it us? It is me, the individual. It. I am it. You are it. We are all it. Getting an education is not an easy thing. It certainly test us. You are not alone Charlie. I really appreciate your post Charlie. What I really appreciate about our classmates is our willingness to help each other out. I have learned from the get go Charlie that if you don’t know the answer to a question, or don’t know how to resolve a problem or how to use software features, we all help each other out. In the end, we all benefit from each other. I know that we are all busy with our projects, social and personal lives but it never hurts to ask. There is a quote from a song that I feel appropriate here, ‘Shyness is nice but shyness can stop you from doing all the things in life that you’d like to.’-(Morrissey) That single line has not prevented me from seeking help or making new friends or finding answers to my curiosities. When and if you need help Charlie, ask me and I will help you out the best that I can or will help in finding you someone who can.

  2. Hey Charlie I really appreciate you blogging about your personal feelings. I know that takes a lot of courage to do but having that said I think we all feel or have felt that same way as you have at some point in our lives. I know I have. There are times when I have wanted to give up and pull my hair out. There have also been times when I have hit the floor hard and did not want to get back up. At the end we all have someone or something to motivate us to keep on moving forward. I am glad that you have not given up despite the circumstances. We are all here in the same boat as you are so we are all in it together. Whenever you need help just ask and we are more then happy to lend you our hand.

  3. Thank you Charlie for putting yourself out there and expressing yourself and the trials you have gone through. Asking for help has always been something I have had trouble doing because I have always had to learn things on my own. However, the downside to that is that asking for assistance when you really need it can save you from spending hours looking over a problem that someone has already solved and could give you tips on. I think though you are on the right path and I believe in your fighting spirit. This program is tasking and pushes us to our limits but in doing so we see our potential to be awesome and great through our hard work and efforts.

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